- world in silence *

Sunday, July 31, 2005

~* Week of Hell is Coming Soon *~

huaaaa.. next week all assignment are dueee !! mannnn.. have to start it from today i guess.. otherwise i won't be sleeping for that whole week (>.<) huah.. many works i have to do..

my wish for now is still the same i guess.. want to go back to indo.. i wanna go shopping at mangdu haha.. must be sooooo much cheaper than here LOL.. also want to eat the food loh.. i'm craving on guava right nowww !! want to eat that so bad.. yesterday i went to VicMart just to buy a guava.. but i couldn't find any of it.. aiyoooo.. noone sell it here.. in 2 years time i've been living here, i think i just saw a guava once in safeway.. and the price is so expensive.. $10 for 1 guava.. aiyaaa.. i can buy maybe 10kg of guavas back in Indo.. huahhh.. makes me wanna go back there as soon as i can (>.<)

ladybunny ♥ 8:56 PM link to post

Saturday, July 23, 2005

~* Worship The Waste *~

today, i went to Merri Creek at East Brunswick for my studies subject. This subject is about sustainability.. and all the things have the relation with recycle product. So i visited the land full of waste, including human waste (>.<) and i saw many poo there.. [[iyuuuhhhhh (>.<)]] i spent 4 hours with my studies group looking at the recycling process. it's really make me sick. the bad is, at lunch time, we still have to stay there for about 1 more hours. most of my friends buy food and drink from the cafe which is using all the recycling stuff. i feel wanna throw up when i imagine all the stuff i'm gonna eat have a connection with our poo.. [[iyuuuuhhhhhh (>.<)]] and the worse is before lunch time, we visited the room under the composite toilet.. you know what i found there right??? all yackie stuff.. [[iyuuuhhhhhh (>.<)]] that's the first time i feel really sick and can't eat although i was very hungry..

after site visit end, me and my friends went to Blok M, which is Indonesian Restaurant at South Yarra. we decided to go there because we're using daily ticket today, so we don't wanna waste it.. hahaha.. [[ indo bangett !!! LOL ;p ]] it took about 1 hour to reach the restaurant and we still have to wait about 30minutes 'til the food is ready. i think, the food taste better than usual hahaha maybe because i was so hungry (>.<) usually i can't even finish one meal, but today, i was still hungry after i finished the whole meal.. OMG..

Again, because of our daily ticket, so me and daniel decided to go to Chapel St. which is one block away from Blok M. I bought a white leather jacket which is quite cheap because it's a lil bit dirty. but noone can see it beside me anyway, so i still buy it ^^ after looking around, i found an awesome boots that i really want to buy.. but it's too expensive..so i decided to think about it first hehe..

Finish walking around Chapel St., we're going to the city and continue our shop hunting hahaha.. i went to the branch store, where i found the boots, in the city.. they have it in cheaper price.. it's kinda weird. same brand store just different location but sell same item with different price. sadly, they don't get my size there. so i asked them to call their other store to check whether they have it or not. and they told me the bourke st. store have it. so i went there straight away. too bad the shopkeeper is quite annoying (>.<) she didn't give me the same price with the store at flinders lane..yea rite, 3 stores with 3 different prices.. annoying (>.<) *sigh.. because i really want the boots so i talked to the other girl to give me lower price, and she said, she will try to transfer the shoes to the flinders lane store.. thanks God i can meet this girl. but the other girl is still annoying, yelling and angry to this girl. they're talking in mandarin, so i don't understand. but i knew that it's about the boots.. hmm i hope i can get the boots with the cheapest price.. if it so, then that will be the best boot i have ever had ^^

after that, we went to eat Pancake for our dinner ^_- then went to Laguna because i wanna buy Kangkung there.. it's so cheap. but too bad it's not fresh. so i decided to went home..

huah.. feel sleepy now, a bit tired and maybe because i couldn't sleep yesterday as well..(>.<) *sigh i still can't focus on what my lecturer's saying.. my mind still not here at the moment..

ladybunny ♥ 4:46 PM link to post

~* Life is the process of finding love *~

every person will need to find four people in their life.

First person is you,
Second person is the one you love most,
Third person is the one who love you most,
And the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life.

In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love most, and learn how love feels.
Because you know how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you most.
When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most.
Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.

The one you love most doesnt love you.
The one, who love you most, is never the one you love most.
And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most or the one who love you most.
He is just the person who person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

Which person are you in other peoples life?

No person will purposely have a change at heart.
At the point in time when he loves you, he really loves you.
But when he doesnt love you anymore, he really doesnt love you anymore.
When he loves you, he cant pretend that he doesnt.
Same goes, when he loves you no more, theres noway he can pretend he loves you.

When a person doesnt love you and wants to leave you, you must ask yourself is you still love him,
If you also dont love him anymore, do not keep him just to save your pride.
If you still love him, you should wish him happiness,
And hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it.
If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves, it shows you already dont love him, and if you dont love him, what rights do have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive, just like the moon, you cant just take it down and put it in your basin,but the moonlight still shines upon you.
In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him become a permanent memory in your life.
If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is.
Love him for his good points, and the bad, you cant wish for him to become what you want him to be just because you love him.
If he cant change to become what you want him to be, you dont love him anymore.

When you really love a person, you cant find a reason why you love him, you only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood,you will wish to have this person be with you.
Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria.
In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test,if the relationship isnt strong, then you can only admit defeat?

When two people are in love,
They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises.
Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?
Because they dont trust each other, they dont trust their lover.
These swear and promises are useless, till the skyfalls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will never change!
We all know that the sky will never fall, the ocean will never dry, even if it does happen, are we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises,
Dont make promises that you cant keep.
In relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another, the one saying, doesnt believe, the one listening, also doesnt believe.

ladybunny ♥ 4:14 PM link to post

Friday, July 22, 2005

~* Back To Uni *~

today, i feel like i'm not living in this world.. can't focus on anything.. my mind goes somewhere else.. still having problem with my crappy grammar (>.<) it's been one month i didn't talk in english.. lose some of my vocabs.. all crappy things happen today (>.<) feel like crying inside my heart T.T all i know, all i can feel is just one.. i miss u..

i think it's too late to realise that you're important for me.. it's true by losing you now i know how much you are worth for me.. i wish i knew it before, maybe things will work out better.. sorry.. but i hope you're happy for the past few days before you leave 'til now.. thanks for your understanding..

ladybunny ♥ 4:30 PM link to post

Thursday, July 21, 2005

~* Another goodbye... *~

3 pm today..

we are still having fun. making joke of each others. having lunch together.. i feel so happy.. weird.. it is weird.. i should be sad by the time i woke up today.. but that's not what i feel..

6 pm today..

i have to go to my class and you have to go home.. i thought that would be the last time i see you.. but still.. happiness are staying around me and you.. sweet goodbye with sweetest smile and laugh.. still teasing each other.. no tears..

8.41 pm today..

suddenly one of my friend called me, but i couldn't pick it up. my teacher is keep staring at me. but lucky me, i had finished my presentation at that time.. although it's an awful one (>.<) ..keep thinking.. my mind has gone somewhere else.. not at this place.. so i decided to message my friend..

9.14 pm today..

still thinking.. should i go or not.. i don't wanna go because i might break our promise.. my mind keep telling me to stay and try to focussing to what my client say.. it is important for me to stay. i have another presentation next week..showing my design ability and try to impress him.. but.. my heart tells me to go..

9.29 pm today..

i decided to follow my heart and go.. i don't care anymore about my teacher, my client and my work.. i just want to meet him and say goodbye..

9.43 pm today..

i was running.. keep running although my shoes are so slippery.. almost fall down couple of times.. bourke st. tram stop.. the tram is there. "i'm so lucky," i say to myself.. try to catch it as fast as i can.. but there's a work construction.. i have to go the other way and try to run faster.. sadly, the tram is leaving by the time i got there.. "i can't give up," i said.. so i looked at the timetable.. dissapointed.. have to wait for 10 minutes 'til the next tram arrive..

9.45 pm today..

try to find another way and still not give up to myself.. so, i go to collins st. to catch tram there altough it will stop 2 blocks away from the bus stop.. there are no trams.. silence.. the timetable shows that another tram will arrive in 3 minutes.. so happy at that time..

9.48 pm today..

there is no sign of tram coming.. i feel hopeless.. i have to get to the bus station by 12 minutes.. don't think can make it.. so i called him and said that i can't make it.. still hoping a miracle..

9.51 pm today..

the tram is coming.. i get in and then tell the driver to stop at spencer st. ..9 minutes left.. still hoping i can meet him for the last time..

9.55 pm today..

i get off the tram and waiting for the green light on.. 2 minutes waiting.. still red.. suddenly, i saw a man.. he is trying to get into a white bus.. "there is no sign of bus stop around here," i told myself.. after knocking the door a few times, the driver lets him in.. unconciously, i follow that man and get into the bus.. i ask the driver about the place i'm heading to.. he told me, "it's just over there" but i keep asking to take me to the bus station.. suddenly, he says, "ok, i'll take you there" .. i smile then sitting near to the driver.. keep looking at the bus window.. i don't even know that place.. never go there before..

9.59 pm today..

i arrive at the bus station.. all of my friends are waiting for me.. including the bus driver.. we get into the bus directly.. sitting at the back left corner of the bus.. smiling.. miracle do happen this time..

10.20 pm today..

airport.. the place that i hate most.. i never find happiness there.. only sadness around me when i'm in that place.. but i remember our promise to leave without tears.. so i say to myself, this time will be different..

11.23 pm today..

time for him to get into the plane.. still smiling, laughing and teasing each other.. but the tears suddenly start dropping from my eyes.. i keep telling myself, this time will be different.. i have to keep my promise.. so i'm staring at his eyes, smiling and say, "this time will be different.. i save my tears for another time.. 3 months later, you're gonna be my driver.. remember, 3 months.." we start to laugh and smile again..

11.27 pm today..

one of my friend ask us to pray together for him.. i'm sorry, i can't focus on what you're saying.. i'll pray for him later.. tears start dropping again.. i have to stop it.. remember our promise..

11.33 pm today..

he is walking to the big white glass door.. i say to myself, i can smile.. i don't want him to be sad.. by the time he turned around, i smile at him, wave my hand and say goodbye.. he's smiling back at me.. our sweetest promise.. we made it..

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00.25 am..

start writing this blog.. i want to remember every single miracle that happen today.. happiness still with me now but the tears start dropping again.. it's ok.. only 3 months.. i can wait...

ladybunny ♥ 6:39 PM link to post

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

~* SIN CITY *~

kemaren malem temen gw ultah gitu terus kita ber4 mutusin buat nonton SIN CITY.. ya elah tu movie.. baru 10 menit aja orang2 da pada keluar gitu.. kirain cuma trailernya doank yg item putih, ternyata sampe the end juga item putih.. boring abis.. critanya bener2 ga jelas gitu, ga ada juntrungannya.. sadis seh tapi item putih tetep aja ga seru.. mendingan nonton kill bill kemana2 de.. gara2 review 3 seh tuh.. bilangnya 10/10 gila banget !! ga banget kayanya de.. 0/10 kali tuh.. ga ada bagus2nya sama sekali.. cuma kaya orang bacain novel gitu.. ga jelas abis..

niweyz.. gi ngidam sate ayam nih dari kemarennnn.... plus garlic bread hohoho.. pengen banget ga tau knapa.. moga2 ada de di blok m... huahuahuaa.. huaaaaaaaaaaaa... ya uda ah.. ke blok m dulu.. makan sate ayam huahuahua yummyyyyyyyyyyyy ;p

ladybunny ♥ 11:20 AM link to post

Sunday, July 17, 2005

~* every second i breathe.. *~

every second i breathe, i take you inside, so i feel alive all the time..

once you're not here by my side, the whole world seems so empty..

take me away from the dark side..

ladybunny ♥ 11:58 AM link to post

Friday, July 15, 2005

~* so tired.. *~

huah.. cape bgt de.. dari kemaren kerja malem mulu, baru pulang jam 12an terus gitu.. capenyaa ga tahan de.. hari ini jadinya ga kuliah lagi de (>.<) ga enak badan gitu.. parah banget de.. untung hari ini terakhir kerja.. jadi gw bisa istirahat.. besok ga tau nih bisa bangun ga kuliah pagi.. males bgt de rasanya (>.<)

at least, capenya fisik seh bukan cape pikiran.. ga lama juga ilang lah.. ^^ huah.. capeee.. ngantuk.. pengen tidur tapi kenyang tadi baru aja makan (>.<) bentar lagi lah.. hmm.. ga tau mo crita apa.. gi pengen ngisi blog aja, abisnya da jarang diupdate hehe..

ngiri neh temen2 pada balik indo, jadi banyak acara, gw juga pengennn.. tar ah akhir taun bikin acara lagi kaya waktu itu pasti seru de ^^ can't wait til end of this yearrrr !!! miss u guys a lot !!

hmm uda dulu de.. mo istirahat.. kaki da pegel bgt..

ladybunny ♥ 6:39 PM link to post

Sunday, July 10, 2005

~* ..akhirnya yg tersisa hanyalah air mata.. *~

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semua orang pasti punya impian.. entah itu ttg seseorang ataupun sebuah barang.. tapi hidup ini tidak seperti yg dibayangkan.. semuanya berbeda.. dalam hal cowo.. tiap cewe pasti punya tipenya masing2.. tapi pada akhirnya malah jadian ma orang yg bener2 beda jauh dari tipe yg cewe itu suka.. apakah rasa suka itu bener2 dateng sebelom rasa sayang?? ada yg bilang, walopun dia ga suka ma tu cowo tapi dia sayang.. jadi apa definisi sayang??

gw sendiri masi ga tau.. dan kalo ditanya kenapa gw sayang ma seseorang, gw bakal bilang gw ga tau. it doesn't need any reason, does it?

sometimes, hidup itu ga seperti yg kita inginkan.. better to go with flow kalo menurut gw.. tapi gimana tentang pilihan dalam hidup?? semuanya pada akhirnya punya makna masing2.. tapi apakah kita tau makna itu sebelum kita ngejalanin? ngga kan.. that's the hardest thing in life..

kalo bilang idup itu ga fair, ya emang di dunia ini ga ada yg perfect. jadi apa definisi hidup yg fair? buat gw, asal ada keseimbangan antara kesedihan dan kebahagiaan itu uda fair.. ga mungkin selalu hepi setiap saat kan? sometimes, we have to realise that we need to face reality.. kita ga bisa idup cuma di dalam mimpi2 kita.. dimana kita bisa milih mana yg mo dijalanin.. semuanya kerasa perfect.. kalo ada yg kurang kita bisa balik ke masa2 itu dan benerin semuanya.. tapi hidup itu ga kaya gitu kan?? bukan kita perlu balik ke masa lalu untuk benerin semuanya, yg kita perluin itu justru kita harus bisa ngambil pelajaran dari situ supaya nantinya ga keulang lagi.. tapi kalo uda yg namanya berhubungan sama sifat bawaan dari lahir, mo gimana pun ga akan bisa berubah.. itu yg gw tau..

hmm.. hal terberat dalam hidup itu bukan berurusan sama nyawa sendiri tapi sama nyawa orang laen.. tau rasanya kaya gitu?? gw tau karna itu yg gw alamin sampe sekarang.. kadang kita pengen ga peduli, jalanin apa yang kita mau aja.. tapi tetep hati ga ngebolehin.. yg pada akhirnya hidup kita malah lebih sengsara dari orang itu tanpa tu orang sadari.. mungkin buat dia selama kita masi bisa bertahan dia ga peduli, dia cuma mikirin diri sendiri.. tapi begitu ada sesuatu.. langsung jadi fragile.. kaya tembok kokoh yg selama ini dibangun tiba2 bisa runtuh cuma karna ketimpuk bola tenis.. aneh ya hidup itu.. hidup yg dipunya cuma satu.. tapi somehow kita harus jalanin hidup orang laen juga..

mungkin gw yg harusnya tau cara face the reality and simply think that my life is my own.. so i can decide which one better for me.. tapi kalo gitu jadi keliatan egois banget yah? hmm..

kalo otak uda ga bisa mikir akhirnya hati juga yg berbicara.. jadi kenapa ga dari pertama aja pake hati?? sometimes, apa yg diucapin seseorang itu percuma.. lebih kerasa berharga kalo sesuatu ga diucapkan tapi bisa dirasakan..

hmm kayanya segini dulu renungan gw buat hari ini..

for someone out there, thanks uda bikin gw sadar dan ngerasa 'hidup' lagi.. thank you banget buat doa2nya selama ini.. sekarang gw uda sadar ttg tindakan gw selama ini.. sorry uda bikin lu ngerasa hidup ini ga fair gara2 gw.. sorry karna selama ini gw harus memendam 'sesuatu' yang harusnya jadi milik loe.. thanks and sorry for everything.. hope everything is gonna be fine for you after the sunrise today..

ladybunny ♥ 11:24 PM link to post

Monday, July 04, 2005

~* Memories.. *~

why i keep looking at the past? i shouldn't do that.. keep regreting my foolishness.. argghh when will this feeling stop? i can't take it anymore.. *sigh i have to move on.. i do have to..

for sum1 .. u know who u are .. if u read this.. well i don't think you would though.. aniway, u got the same karma as me, don't ya? how does it feel?? bad huh..?? good you still can go on with your life.. i'm happy for you.. finally you found your lost soul and filling your days with rainbow.. enjoy ur day with ur cherry.. and please don't do the same 'thing' again.. u know how it feels..

hmm.. feels a bit relieved although it's 1/100 chance for him to read this but it's fine.. i think he forget the past already.. seems to me that i have to forget it too.. i have to move on.. my life is still going.. i'll try to forgive myself although it's really hard to do.. i want to get out from this empty room to the land of happiness..

ladybunny ♥ 9:58 PM link to post

~* Lesson of Life *~

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself..

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have..

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time..

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that..

I've learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different..

I've learned that we never know how much something worth until we lose it..

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help..

last...

Hope a little for tomorrow..

ladybunny ♥ 6:17 PM link to post

~* Breathe Again *~

Have you wondered how it feels when its all over
Wondered how it feels when you just have to start a new
Never knowin where you goin
when you face a brand new day
It used to be that way
Now I just close my eyes and say

i just wanna breathe again
learn to face the joy and pain
discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more

i just wanna face the day
forget about the woes of yesterday
maybe if i hope a little try a little more
i'll breathe again

Starting out again is never easy
disspointments come and go
but life still moves on
with a bit of luck its a brand new start
Then might just work my way
no need to walk away
don't wanna live a life's replay

Things will work out fine
If you can't find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn

ladybunny ♥ 5:50 PM link to post

Saturday, July 02, 2005

~* Portrait of a Friend *~

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts,or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we willsearch for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,nor the future with its untold stories.But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;Yet I can share in your laughter.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;I can only support you, encourage you,and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me.I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,But I can cry with you and help you pick up the piecesand put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.I can only love you and be your friend.

ladybunny ♥ 8:52 PM link to post

~* sad... *~

i've been really really sad for these past few days.. feel so lonely like i just live alone in this world.. keep remembering the past really put me into a deep sorrow mood.. seems all the memories just make me sad.. especially the stupid mistake ever i have made in my life.. been really sorry for that person for 5 years.. still never hear anywords come from his mouth.. i just wanna hear somewords from him.. anything.. even if it's really hurt for me.. it's fine bcoz i knoe it's my fault.. but please.. can we be just friend like we used to? do you really want to hate me forever? hmm.. hope he can answer those questions..

ladybunny ♥ 8:48 PM link to post